I think sometimes when folks say, “Don’t have a victim mentality,” they may be unintentionally implying that we are not victims. But we are victims, all of us, very much so, and that’s important to come to terms with before we can shed the victim *mentality*.
We are victims of collective trauma perpetuated by a society whose values continue to be significantly behind the times. Our values are evolving, quickly, yet those of us who were born into the outdated values system are victims of it.
Having a victim’s mentality implies 2 behaviors:
1) subconsciously acting in accordance with the outdated values that we consciously reject but still govern our actions
2) not realizing that we are victims. This is analogous to gaslighting, or the Munchouzen effect.
The one thing I think we don’t truly realize yet as a society is how very very hard it is for us as individuals or culture to change our lifestyles, to keep pace with new values that are only just beginning to be practiced.
Largely, these fall under the categories of:
1) Emotional Intelligence ~ treating each other with more respect, love and compassion in our close relationships, family, friends, partner(s).
2) Environmentally Just lifestyles. This is exceptionally hard, when societal infrastructures such as grocery stores, and cities built for cars make it exceptionally challenging to make conscious choices.
3) Our consumer lifestyles ~ how easy and addicted we have been influenced to be to click Buy Now.
4) Right Livelihood ~ Arguably, the *majority* of jobs that pay a living wage are not healthy for mother earth. They require involvement in the consumer-economy in order to pay rent and buy food.